I was just informed today that I will not be converted to perm due to the downturn in the banking sector. Apparently no one dares to approve the perm headcount, which should have been done 2 months ago. Instead, they will be looking at extending my contract to one year. At least it's still better compared to a 3 months renewable contract. Boss mentioned something about throwing in a 13th month bonus in the contract otherwise it would be unfair to me. But as I always say, nothing is guaranteed until it comes in black and white. Of course the higher you place your hopes, the harder you fall (did I just do a direct translation form Chinese to English?) I am not going to bunk on that, I will just be grateful that at least I get to secure my job for an additional 9 months.

I find myself flaring up easily nowadays. After SK pointed out the mistakes I made today, I got impatient and using my stupid tone, I challenged him and insisted that I did not make the mistake. But we managed to find out that it is indeed human error - my error. Gosh I wish I could be more meticulous. I did my work conscientiously and checked, double checked and triple checked my work but still more mistakes were uncovered. Though I have made some improvements since my first attempt, I want to be able to complete everything without a single error. I just can't stand having people pointing out my mistakes. Sometimes I feel that I am sort of a perfectionist but still a perfectionist would have been more meticulous than I tried to be.

I was just talking to piggy about the current economy and how I can't imagine living in a recession period. I am just so used to spending and spending even more. I am still trying to save for my studies, you can't seem to get anywhere without a degree nowadays. I can't imagine how else I can squeeze money into my savings with my current meal expenditures ever since I switched to citi. Sometimes I find myself worrying excessively though I try to evade my problems and pretend that everything is alright. I am starting to get a little weary of the pressure and problems I have inflicted upon myself. Financial worries? All I have to do is stop spending on unnecessary and impractical stuff like facial, new clothes, junk food and other cute but useless junk. But I just can't seem to keep my wallet in my bag. I am trying really hard now and my goal for now would be the 5k benchmark.

And I am starting the late sleeping pattern again. This is going nowhere. At the end of the day, it is self-discipline I am lacking, something which I know and wanted to correct. But it is easier to say than to work on a habit cultured since young. I'm always making the first step but never attempted with enough effort to maintain what I started with. Such is the irony. All I do is complain but yet I do nothing to correct anything. Most times I end up totally disgusted at myself.

It's been a long time. Nothing much to update, I am a person of low profile. Started a new job at citi - the bank that never sleeps. Contract with no OT benefits, and my role requires me to put in long hours especially during fridays and month end cos that's when I do my weekly and monthly reports. I've also been meeting my piggy less on weekdays. Might also be a good thing, as the saying goes - absence makes the heart fonder.

I'm adjusting my bedtime earlier, used to sleep around 2am but now the latest I sleep is around 12 - 1am. I have aways wanted to sleep earlier and restore the radiant glow to my skin, but there's so much to do and so little time to myself. Weekends are mostly at piggy's, but I want to spend time with him and I enjoy being in his company.

I have made a new friend at work. She is always hanging around my desk and talking to me to pass time, she is also my toilet buddy since we always go in pairs. I am just sitting behind my boss and since my office is an open concept, everyone can hear our conversation. I hope that my boss doesn't find us too talkative and decides to replace us both.

Perhaps it is time to pay a visit to the temple. The last time I've been there was four months back when I accompanied my mum there on our birthday. During that time, I prayed for career progression and I was offered this job in late August. Although I am still sometimes quite skeptical about religion, it so happened that everything has been pretty smooth sailing during my job transition. Citi was only my 2nd interview and I was offered the job after one round of interview. I count myself pretty lucky and somehow felt that perhaps it wasn't just plain luck on my end. I am going to have to pay a visit soon and convey my gratitude. Hopefully, I will be able to convert to perm before the end of this contract.